A Catch Up With Myself

Hello!

its been a while since the last time I wrote something on an online platform. I used to write on tumblr, but since kominfo blocked the site, i decided to leave the platform altogether and find a new one. I know I can use VPN and get access to tumblr, but I think i want to leave the platform since it reminds me too much of the previous stage of my life, the stage where I would go on it everyday and entertain myself morning til dawn. I realized now that platform kept me from being productive, and had me going through jokes 24/7. So while I really like using Tumblr, I think I need a new place to share my thoughts.

so here I am.

As an update on my life, I have decided not to conceal my eye bags anymore. It's not like my panda-like eyes are getting better, but I am tired of being self-conscious about the blood running under the almost translucent skin under my eyes. It is a hereditary gift from both of my parents, so there is no hiding it anyway. It will always be a part of who I am. So a few weeks ago, I gave my concealers to my mother, since she's only learning to do her makeup now in her 40s. Another unintentional lesson from my mother; it's never too late to start anything.

The main reason I am doing this is because I am trying not to hide anything anymore, whether it is my dark circles or my most honest feelings. Unnecessarily hiding things is a waste of time and will always get in the way of getting what I want, and I realize now I don't have much time. I'm not dying or anything, its just time flies by so fast and I am not planning on piling on regrets any time soon. So for now, I am planning on staying focused while enjoying what I have and stop fostering futile thoughts and contemplations. I feel like your early 20s is the right time to start getting your shit together, no?

I do find the hardest yet inevitable part of staying focused is to cut routines and (sometimes) people out of your life. Cutting them off of your life does not always mean acting hostile or turning sour on them, but almost on the contrary, to evaluate the relationship with said routine or person and know where it stands. To know if it will help you achieve what you want or not. Because at this point, I feel that hatred and malevolent will not do you any favor. The 'angry/angsty teen' look does not suit us anymore, even though I must confess that there were fun times of being an angry teenager, to freely explore the candid and often confusing emotions in your teenage years. But time waits for no one, and we shouldn't stay put. It is time to move on.

I think that will be it for now, and I cannot promise that I will be updating regularly. However, I have a gut feeling that I will be back soon.

For the meantime,

Adieu!